To Do or To Don’t
I didn’t get a blog out last week. Full disclosure, I intend to have a new post out every Thursday. I strategically planned this so that if life happens (which it so often does), I have a one-day buffer to still get a post out “on-time.” So now you know the truth—if you see a blog from me on Friday morning, I’m technically behind on life.
Last week, though - Thursday came and went and took Friday with it. So many other things didn’t get done, and In the Throes was pushed beyond the back burner. It wasn’t even on the stove anymore!
Aside from returning from vacation and my kids starting school (which means anxiety, excitement, meet-the-teachers, and much earlier mornings), I was in the throes of launching the third book in my chapter book series and starting three-hour nightly rehearsals for the community theater musical I’m in (because obviously I don’t have enough things on my plate currently. Seriously, though, it’s a wonderful outlet and a ton of fun, but a much larger time commitment than I expected! Also, I’m just in the ensemble, singing, dancing and smiling from the background, so don’t expect me on Broadway anytime soon).
Oh, and did I forget to mention that my internet was out?!?
Whoa, Nelly, I’m insanely dependent on the internet! Not only were my kids without T.V. or tablets to keep them entertained (and out of my hair) during this awful heatwave, but I also couldn’t work from home. Several times last week, I packed my laptop up and went to the gym to use their WIFI after a quick workout.
Needless to say, last week was a whirlwind and I let myself off the hook for In the Throes. I hope you can forgive me. At first, I felt devastated. I’m the kind of person who always does what she says she will. If I don’t live up to a commitment, my inner dialogue can be littered with “I’m a failure,” and “I’m not good enough.”
This past week, I ran a different inner dialogue. I truly had a lot going on, and I simply couldn’t do it all. My kids starting school was my top priority. Adding 15 hours of rehearsal to my weekly schedule has been a significant shift and adjustment. Try as I might, I couldn’t get everything done.
I had the blessed opportunity to recognize my own limitations. This knowledge is a priceless gift. If I’m killin’ it all the time, I forget that I need God. If I use my own strengths, willpower, and determination, I’m oblivious to my ever-present need for my Lord. I’m not meant to be God in my own life (or anyone else’s for that matter), and when I try to be, life falls apart. So in his great wisdom and love, God gave me a week of more than I could handle.
This concept is completely counter-cultural for us in America. Since elementary school, kids are taught that hard work and perseverance are the keys to success (the measure of what success means for Christians vs. mainstream culture will have to be its own blog post one day). I politely yet emphatically disagree.
We attain success through God, not through willpower. I sleep soundly knowing my work aligns with His will, and not my own (and definitely not what our popular culture tells me). I’m at my best when I stop trying to control what isn’t mine to control.
Last week, that thing was my time (and an internet connection). Instead of going crazy or spending a third shift at my 24-hour gym, I focused on what I could. I took pictures of my girls on their first day of school. I met them at the bus stop and listened to their stories about their days. I met new people at rehearsal, and I felt gratitude through it all.
I could choose to focus on the things that evaded me; the long to-do list with countless items left unchecked. Instead, I choose to focus on God's to-do list for me. Last week, that didn’t include a blog post. This week it did. You’ll find out if it includes one next week, too, next Thursday (or Friday, if it’s one of those weeks).
Copyright 2023 Maria Riley
Never miss a blog! Sign up to get them delivered to your inbox weekly HERE.
